okay, i am leaving blogdrive. cos it ALWAYS gives me a headache.

friends, relink.

i've moved here.

and what better time to move than now. moving in and out of transitions.

after a pretty long time, i never imagined that someone's life would ever be turned around.

but after the unimaginable happened. i am awed. and i start to wonder why i didnt quite believe in God's power and timing, and His ability to change a person's heart. maybe because i am numbed. but now, with what i have seen i am dumbfounded and am called to turn away from my unbelieving heart.

and finally understand: the power of the irresistable grace of God that calls upon a sinner and gives the sinner no choice but to repent.

this is what it means to keep persevering in prayer and finally move the hand of God! He answers, in His time. :)

haven't felt THIS tired ever since i left temasek. it's a good feeling to be tired and to be filled with work to the brim. it makes me feel real happy. :)

so check out the place where we (bestfriends&i) share our dreams:

we dream, real big-
whitechopsticks.livejournal.com

&

we dream, even bigger-
whitechopsticks.wordpress.com

life's been filled with concepts.
time flies by so fast i forgot what happened last week.

i stand before a God that is not far from me, difficult to comprehend in all essence, but have graciously chosen to reveal himself through His word. what better way to know and experience him through the reading of his precious word.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,
declares the LORD.
As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts."
Isaiah 55:8-10

what better way.

it's one of those days that i have the absolute free will to throw a tantrum, walk away and ignore. (the old abigail will do that, trust me.) okay, but i have chosen not to and grit my teeth, pressing on. and this has taught me patience. to wait, just wait. painfully of course. and while waiting, read. to be more sure of what i believe in, and read somemore. to indulge and be happy with my reading. and most importantly spend time, praying. to pray until words seem so inadequate to express what my heart wants to say.

i have no more words left to say, suddenly.

& thanks stephy and lydia for being reassuring. for comforting-- despite steph's weird comments about my body language! (which i still dont get.) but well, thank you, pretty much for saying things that will not allow my emotions to overwhelm me and strangle me in the process. for reaffirming.

oh-kay. need to brave the winds now.

and so, abigail han, you prayed,: "God, please teach me how to love others."

the opportunity to love others comes at the most unexpected moments. not moments when you are especially looking out on how you could love someone. the moment comes and snatches you away like a thief in the night. it presents itself at the moment when you are least likely to show love, and forces you to make a decision immediately. one wrong move and you miss that precious opportunity that God gave you.

i missed mine, tonight.

& was shocked at how ugly my thoughts can ever be. it is to curb jealousy with love. it is so difficult, and i ask myself time and time again: "so, why cant you just get it right." and the solution is not: just walk away. it is not.

i struggle,
but im not giving up.

let me try again, please?

You, you and you. and you and you and you.

I am thankful to God for so many things, and so many people (with regards to the prayer meeting). (: to see growth and experience growth at the same time. and now, i dont want to leave.

grateful, it just not enough. :D

im looking ahead to so much more.
i dont regret investing time in precious souls.
i dont regret.  

all the heartache, talk and thinking is all worth while.
smiles, blissfully.

there are no public holidays for God's work.

and there are no good reasons why i should ever stop sharing what i believe in. as i was walking to the mrt station early on monday morning, i secretly wished i didnt have to go for the rockclimbing and just snooze and laze at home. i immediately snapped out of that lazy mode and reminded me that though it was a public holiday, there are never public holidays when i comes to doing what pleases God.

and subconsciously, what janice said that day which i resoundingly agreed flashed through my head: "i think the world is going to end soon."

so if the world were to end tomorrow, what is the one thing you'd do?

if you dig my heart out and take a look, you'd actually see that i am pretty not prepared to leave the earth any moment soon. i shudder at that thought cos i dont want to be comfortable with what is here down on earth. i want to look to heaven and be satisfied because there would be where i would be spending eternity.

on monday, i saw for myself what it means when the bible says that "men suppress the truth" and remembered also that, the truth will always be the truth, whether you believe it is or not.

it sets me thinking all over again.

(: i did things that made me happy today. :D

completed watching the forensic science hongkong serial last episode! so that i wont watch ANYMORE hongkong serials online anymore. haha.

had the most exciting lunch which raised issues about election and predestination. :D i like meeting people like kenneth. (ironically, after my previous post about anti-socialism). HAH. ok, it was a nice lunch-discussion kinda thing. okay, i like meeting people now. (i withdraw what i said in my previous post.) and re-thinking my salvation again, and once again being more sure and certain after the conversation (:

went on a cycling trip with mel again! at east coast (: spent time sitting at the bench and just talking about everything under the sun (like literally, and metaphorically- haha.) and enjoying the wind, sea and waves. and having nice coconut drink at the lagoon. and finally riding to the the end of the world (i mean, east coast.) OH yes, and NAMING OUR BIKES! (: mines called coral wheeler. and hers is cinky(prounouced as KINKY) cloudy mimoki. so cool. (:

AND, later on running around the canal near our house and having spurts of conversation whilst running with bernice. expounding ( i must use the word expounding when i come to her) stuff. haha. (:

oh, HAPPY DAY!

at least i didnt spend time rotting at home doing nothing, so im thankful. (:

dear God, thank you.